May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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