can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize