Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
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