yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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