Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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