I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
