This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
