Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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