I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize