I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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