Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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