I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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