I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
