I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
