I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
