census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
