do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
