I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
