sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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