People in love make me want to vomit
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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