none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
