I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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