By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
