Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
