i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
