Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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