u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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