I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
