Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
