I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We left the knife in your bed.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize