It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm having to shit out rocks
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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