people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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