I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
