I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
