woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize