I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
