Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
