U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
