How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
