PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
