i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
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