At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
