it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
