How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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