nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
