I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
