I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
