My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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