dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
