did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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