Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
