NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Randomize
