i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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