i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
