My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
