There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
