Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
