WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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