so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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