Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
