oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Congratulations! We have a period
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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