Did you just see the Batmobile???
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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