just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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