His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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